Us pious Muslims here at Celeb Jihad have just saved the Olympic Games! As we have removed all of the gayness (which was no easy feat and not just because they are being held in the capital of homofaggotry Paris, France), in the incredibly epic female athlete ass Olympics video below (you’ll want the sound on for this one).

Believe it or not, not even woke bull lesbodykes are as big of fans of female athletics as us righteous Muslim men… For nowhere else can we find concubine equipment built to the high standards required to service the tremendously powerful thrusts of our massive Muslim loins.

Of course to truly appreciate women’s Olympic events one must know which ones to watch. So below we have provided our top 3 favorites.

#3 Beach Volleyball – Not only are the posteriors plump, but us Muslims know well the increased sensations that can only come from a snatch stuffed with sand… As the added grit is immensely pleasurable.

#2 Pole Vault – The pole is a reasonable approximation of your average Muslim’s enormous tunic snake, and the women handling it always seem to have the best backsides in the business (plus it is one of the few track and field events not infested with too many Sub-Saharans).

#1 Gymnastics – Thanks to the hormone suppressors the competitors all have the pleasingly underdeveloped bodies of girls of a proper marriage age… Add to that the fact that they exhibit the extreme elasticity required to accommodate our gigantic meat scuds, and watching these twirling tarts is an undeniably erotic experience (as we can see from the gymnastic nude scenes below from the film “Gold Bird”).